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    Malcolm Fairley broke into houses during the night and raped women at gunpoint in front of their husbands. My father, desperate to protect his family, would stay up all night after barricading the windows.

    He was determined no rapist would get near us. I felt safe, with my father watching over me. That was what I thought rape was, a man climbing through your window in the night.

    I never thought it would happen at a local music festival, the first I had ever attended, after days of begging and pleading with my parents.

    I didn't think Liam would spend three weeks getting to know me, before passing me on to his friends. I was taken to a small modern house.

    There was a black leather sofa, black ash veneer furniture and Athena pictures of semi-naked women. It was a s bachelor pad, I suppose, though I had never been in one before.

    I still had a Pierrot duvet cover. The men said they were tired and that we should go to bed. I followed them up the stairs, led by Liam.

    When we reached the room I looked around, confused. I asked Liam where we would sleep. He said, "We'll all squeeze in together.

    As the other men got into bed I asked Liam if we could sleep downstairs, but Phil was growing impatient and told us to hurry up because he wanted to sleep, and Liam jumped at his command, hurrying me along.

    I left my shirt and underwear on and got into bed next to the man I had trusted, feeling embarrassed, knowing that I wouldn't sleep a wink.

    The light went out and Liam started touching me. I whispered, no, said it wasn't right with his friends there, and asked again to go downstairs.

    But he wasn't even listening. He had sex with me. I won't say this was rape, though it was statutory rape because of my age, but I was uncomfortable and uncooperative, hating every second of it.

    I thought that if I just let him do it, it would be over and I would be able to wait out the long hours until it was safe to go home without arousing my parents' suspicions.

    But then the light was on and Phil said, "Can we join in? I won't torture the reader or myself with the details of what they did to me. Suffice to say, I was the victim of a "ramming" - one of their catchphrases.

    I was raped by Simon and Phil in turn, each with the "assistance" of the other. To this day I can still feel the chill metal of Phil's nipple-rings pressing against my flesh as I was torn apart in every sense.

    I often wake from nightmares where I am having the breath squashed out of me, a huge weight pushing down on me and the smell of his aftershave in my nose.

    In Nicholas Meikle's words, like the year-old girl, I "stayed for breakfast", though I didn't eat a thing. I watched them stuff their mouths with fried egg sandwiches and waited for them to drive me home.

    I couldn't call my parents or go home early, or they would know I had lied and, like many teenagers, I was scared.

    So I waited and they drove me home. I ran a hot bath and began a ritual that would last for years, scrubbing my flesh in an attempt to get clean.

    Friends frequently joke about how obsessive-compulsive I am when it comes to cleaning but the truth of this obsession lies in that night. I have lived with the shame and consequences of their actions for the past 18 years.

    The emotional repercussions have been enormous. Soon after the attack I attempted suicide but I never told a soul my secret.

    The men, however, bragged about the "three's up" as they put it. It wasn't seen as rape, though. It was seen as me being a slag, a willing participant in group sex even though I was a child with no experience of men like them, and almost no experience of sex.

    I have suffered from clinical depression, panic attacks, nightmares and many symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder ever since.

    The physical consequences of that night scarred me, too, and the physical damage I sustained during the attack has had serious health implications for me ever since.

    I have dealt with my disgusting secret without therapy or help of any kind, other than the endless support of my husband and family.

    But now, everywhere I turn, I am faced with the story of a teenage girl who says she was gang raped by a group of men who had wooed her with their celebrity.

    It is in every paper, on the radio and the television. It isn't hearing about it through the media that causes my anger, but rather the comments and opinions of others who question what she was doing drinking in those sorts of bar, pursuing those sorts of men, going back to hotel rooms with strangers, and in their judgment of her behaviour, I feel judged - though they know nothing of what happened to me.

    Teenage girls will always be impressed by older men, particularly those who promise a world of glamour and glitz that is far away from their experience.

    For some girls it might be a premiership footballer but for others it will just be the lad in her class who everyone fancies, or the singer in a local rock band.

    I applaud the year-old's ability to tell her parents and go to the police. Much of my anger is at myself for my inability to do these things.

    At the age of 14, I could only see that it was my fault. I lied to my parents, I agreed to go to the house, I didn't know how to stop the men raping me and so how could I face my family with that amount of shame?

    I didn't report the rape until many years later, and even then I decided in the end that I couldn't go through with it. I had moved away and wanted to forget it had ever happened.

    At a book signing, in my hometown, 16 years on, Liam turned up. I had him ejected. Some months later, Phil turned up at a friend's party just a few minutes from my home.

    But the men, including one who is said to have known her, drove her to a secluded orchard where she was allegedly raped and beaten to death.

    The gang, Nattaphong Saenkraud, 24, Patti Boonthal, 23, Panya Chan Somdee, 18, and Suitsit Jaechim, 24, reportedly confessed their involvement to police.

    During the crime re-enactment the four men were taken to the bar, shown loading a woman into their truck, and taken to a warehouse at the orchard where the attack happened.

    One of the group, the man who knew her, claims he only drove her and the other men to the area where she was killed.

    All the men have been detained by police. Four men have been arrested and confessed to their part in the crime.

    Her body was found with foam around her mouth, a nose bleed and part of her clothes on the floor. A devastated friend who had been with Nong earlier in the evening said she had left her with the group of men because she thought they were friends.

    There was also women in the group when she left, and one woman even helped to carry her into the truck. If we knew that last night was the last time we were together.

    I will take care of you better. She was friendly with everyone. It was normal for her to be out chatting with people.

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